How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? No, the impact of the colliding objects being the tree and the ground causes a disturbance in the silence thus causing a sound. The tree gets too much credit.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and it's ruining his life.

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so an american, a Hispanic, and a Indian walk into a bar in Washington D.C, and the bartender says to the american "I'm sorry, but u have to leave.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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What's as bad as doing something you don't like? Doing another thing you don't like

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Whats better than finding a hot girl in your room? nothing

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whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? i don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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What do you call a dead cat on the side of the road? Kitty litter

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was lying about the wheels.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was disturbed by two black men raping a young girl with leukemia.

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? ..It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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What Do You Call A Man On Land With No Arms And Legs? Useless

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Lol, thats sweet, you making me nervous in a good way now. No, the thing is that I need to use this crap every morning, yeah, but its late here now, and since I was born with this condition, remembering is far easier than forgetting, and while the bleeding has stopped now, I was never in any pain whatsoever, and the bleeding would have stopped eventually because of you know... Coagulation? But, if I lets say spend a week without my meds, things would look pretty ugly. I get the meds for cheap, by my new doctor since the old one was a bitch... Excuse me, can we take five minutes? I know I said I would return last time and did not, but I will, I am just a bit... Well, I need a bit more blood in my body right now, I am fine, no danger... If I where I would not be chatting here, but getting my ass of to the doc.

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C'est l'histoire d'un français paumé qui se retrouve sur un site anglais.

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A pregnant woman goes to the hospital to deliver a baby. It is born perfectly normal and healthy, the doctor looks at the mother and father offering them congratulations as he hands them a 9 lb 10 oz baby boy. The mother wanted a girl, but she instead develops post part em depression. She goes through years of psychotherapy to again become well adjusted, her second child is a girl.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see.

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Your moms so dumb she stuffed a battery up her butt and said i got the POWA!

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roses are red violets are blue i've got a boner and it raging for you

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There was a girl who dumped her diver boyfriend because she couldn’t get him to give her a pearl out of an oyster. This particularly female has rather high expectations for her significant others.

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What's the best anti joke? this one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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