Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because there is no such person as Micheal J. Fox. Michael J. Fox, on the other hand, cannot draw a perfect circle because he has Parkinson's disease.

Why can't Tom go horse back riding? He is paralized from the neck down

Why was Jimmy afraid of coming out of the closet? He had agoraphobia.

Chuck Norris was a famous actor that starred in Walker, Texas Ranger and Missing in Action. He is a normal person, just like you and me.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't keep a Ferrari in my garage. (????)?

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt a black guy ate him.

roses are grey violets are grey everything is? grey i'm colour blind fml

A woman comes home and finds her husband with another woman. Their marriage collapses and the husband goes on to marry the other woman and his ex-wife commits suicide.

Why'd jimmy drop his candy wrapper? He was brutally melested and stabbed I the eyeballs with forks and cut into pieces before he could make it to the trash can. He was then thrown into the trash can he was going to.

A gorilla walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of celery. The bartender stands speechless due to the ridiculousness of the given situation.

old mcdonald had a farm had..... he now lives in the city

Q., Why did you mum eat mum on ur mom go die mom niga nigga cut me hang me lolololo A.my cat died shut up newb lololololo

What smells worse than a skunk? A dead skunk.

What do you call something with no legs or arms swimming in the lake? A fish.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

Why did the black guy get fired from his job. I asked first.

Q. Why did the mother dissagree with her son's choice in friends? A. Because they were a rather bad influence on him and his grades had gotten considerably worse since they started to hang out.

How did Jesus walk on water? He was Jesus

Why did the chicken cross the road? A chicken doesn't need a motive to cross a road, it just does.

What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

What does the English major do? Write anti-jokes because he has no job

I jacked off over a blind girl the other day, she never saw me coming

how did the little girl get to heaven? she died.

Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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