A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

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What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

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What happened to the power lifter that tried to deadlift 920 lbs while wearing nothing but his briefs? he succeeded because he is trained power lifter.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

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Gay jokes are a real pain in the butt.

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What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

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A jew goes to a bar,then wakes up with presents under his candels.

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66

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

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Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

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Why did the cow eat the grass? Only thing he had to eat.

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Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

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What do you call a muslim with an RPG? Holy Shiite

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Nothing. He punched him in the face and stole his iPhone.

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What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

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What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

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What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

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Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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