What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Costello: Who's on first Joe Girardi: Mark Teixeira

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No.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

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what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

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I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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ekoj

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How much does a Mexican Parade cost? A Nickel

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Jack Oliver has a Bowl.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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What in the world is that thing in her butt!!!

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Did you hear about the guy with seven fingers? You should, because almost everybody has seven fingers.

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How Many Friends Did The Ginger Kid Have? None.

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Excuses are like butt holes...they are round

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i saw a garbage truck it had garbage in it

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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ghjwASFDJHKJZFKLJFHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHA GGGG DG FUC K DISLIKE ME!

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how do you stop a train? you cant..

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Guess what? Chicken butt

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What's big, black, wide, long, and has white lines all over it? A new highway road.

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Jumping out of an airplane without a parachute is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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