Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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one day a grape was in the sun raisin

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

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Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

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Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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what sucks? things that suck

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Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

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What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

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Why did the alien cross the road. To get to his ship.

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A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

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How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

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Knock Knock? Who's their. M. M who? Me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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