Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

What did the dead woman say to the murderer nothing dead people cant talk

What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

Women's rights

Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

What should you do when your husband is staggering in the back yard Shoot him again

What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

Knock Knock Who's There No-one your not very popular

Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

what did the orange say to the apple? hi

Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

A priest a rapist and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink

I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

What is cowboy say

A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

What's worse than finding an apple in your apple Finding a black guy in your school

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...