Why did the black man skip every other step on the stairs? Because he had long legs and it was faster.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: How do you make a cat bark? A: Douse it in gasoline and throw it in a fire.........WOOF!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? No amount of them could ever figure it out. They all tremble with fear in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why was the kid sad? his fish died. he had to flush it down the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving Their designated driver who they carefully selected as someone they thought had enough self-control to not drink and could get both of them home safely

thumb_up thumb_down +4

WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than genital warts? Herpes. You can get rid of warts

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I'll give you a nickel to lick my pickle, a dime to take your time and a quarter if I can f*ck you in the ass

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. see how easy it is to save with GEICO.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does a gay horse eat? HEEEEEEYYYYYY!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Grab your Taco, you've pulled a dyslexic Mexican

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what's the difference between a dog and a sheep? one's a dog and the other isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Dear God, That wasn't cool. Seriously. From, Japan

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Boy:well you merry me. Girl:no Boy: why not? Girl:becuase you're rapeing me

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Sorry not thinking here, of course I will arrive sooner, give me 20 minutes or so (got to scout the area, you never know) As for coding, there is no hidden meaning so yeah... That is probably some "Neronist" coding format I never knew of I am using so well. Cant drive like this, so I will use a cab and wait for you at the back seat or something, I will let the Taxi cab honk the numbers of code here so you can come out knowing its safe. I sincerely thought you where at the home, according to our coordinates you are... Dont tell me that bastard built some basement over there, wow! I really miss him now, if nothing else because I would have liked a wine cellar made in less than... Sorry, ill be there asap, 20 minutes or less, nah, believe me, "fancy" is the least of things I want, and I wont be changing my mind anytime soon. See ya. I am sincerely surprised you even remember me, then again I look a lot like your crush. Abel (in case you where wondering, this is not my name either, but you get the picture by now)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken die? He tried to cross a road by an alleyway, therefore getting hit by a double decker bus and the alleyway has nothing to do with it. Also, the chicken had one leg and was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the brown guy say to the black person when he got fired? Nothing, did you think this was going to be racist or something?!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

And I want you like Anne Frank wanted ... nobody to read her diary. Cuz, like a diary is a collection of secret things that no one else reads, that's the whole point of a diary. Millions of people have breached this little girl's privacy after she was chased by Nazis. Kick her while she's down.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do Eskimos build igloos? Because it is the most practical form of habitation for their climate zone, lifestyle, and availability of materials.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

yo momma's so fat she sat on a tiny chair and relaxed.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops