whats worse than not getting what you want for christmas? a child melester

thumb_up thumb_down +7

4023145287

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the 15 year old girl not enjoy her taco? Because the man making her taco was kid napped and replaced with a female that forgot to put cheese on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Video Games

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Chuck Norris? Cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, flotaing in the sea? Someone who will drown very soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue Billy is dead and Atom bombs blow up chines $

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all starts back in 1765. Sir clucks the 3rd, was the finest most brave chicken there was. No other chickens could even compare. Well you see Sir clucks, with all of his riches and wealth, was one of the most popular chickens of his time. Everyone knew of his vast fortunes. Unfortunately for sir clucks his fortune caused him great misfortunes. You see the dastardly Honey badger brothers heard of the Great Sir clucks and thought to themselves "Why does sir clucks get all the fame and fortune." With that being said the Three brothers came up with one of the most evil plans. They found sir clucks, walking through an alleyway in SHITBUTT city. They surrounded Sir clucks and beat him to the brink of death. They then threw a bag over his head and threw him in their windowless rape van. They then sped off in the night, taking sir clucks to their hideout out in the Dastardly Dry Desert. Not many days passed before the citizens of SHITBUTT city realized that their Most beloved Sir clucks had gone missing. Day,weeks months passed by, but to no avail. Finally, in the 4th month of sir clucks absence, the honey badger brothers sent mayor Monkeyman a ransom note explaining how they want 1 million in clean bills. Little did they know Sir clucks had been coming up with a plan of his own, as the days passed. Nightfall came and Sir clucks set his plan in motion. He had been working on getting his bindings loose and tonight was the night he would escape. "I don't feel so well" says sir clucks to one of the honey badger brothers that was on guard that night. "ehhh what seems to be the problem?" he opens sirclucks cage, not knowing he is a 7th level Black belt. BAM SMACK BONG and with that sir clucks moved quicker than a jack rabbit and ran out into the chill desert night. After hours of running and his feet bloody to the bone he came to a road. You know what happened next? He crossed that SHIT and lived happily ever after And that my amigos is the Factual true story of Sir clucks the 3rd.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's red and green and goes around and around? A frog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Enchilada

thumb_up thumb_down +5

d

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats very large and produces alot of seamen. The US navy

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You won't put that in your ass.... No shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What does Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na equal? A lot of sodium

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Pirate ships are used by pirates.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Justin Bieber paid a donation to the anti-homosexual orginization.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I cut my pubes, Now they itch a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I like to eat people

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because he was a pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What did one car say to another? A: Nothing. Cars can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The funniest tragedy in his young life...wasn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops