yo mamas like a spider always getting wrapped up in her own cu*

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Why'd jimmy drop his candy wrapper? He was brutally melested and stabbed I the eyeballs with forks and cut into pieces before he could make it to the trash can. He was then thrown into the trash can he was going to.

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What's worse than sitting in a car that's steered by a woman? Sitting in an airplane steered by a suicidal pilot.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of celery. The bartender stands speechless due to the ridiculousness of the given situation.

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A woman comes home and finds her husband with another woman. Their marriage collapses and the husband goes on to marry the other woman and his ex-wife commits suicide.

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How did Jesus walk on water? He was Jesus

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What do you call something with no legs or arms swimming in the lake? A fish.

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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What happens when you read every anti-joke on anti-joke? You spend a lot of time in front of a screen. This means you should have a 10-15 minute break, so that your sinuses can rest and you don't develop a headache.

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roses are grey violets are grey everything is? grey i'm colour blind fml

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how did the little girl get to heaven? she died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt a black guy ate him.

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Two muffins were in the oven. One muffin goes "whoo! It's getting hot in here!" the other muffin goes "ahhh! A talking muffin!!!"

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old mcdonald had a farm had..... he now lives in the city

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Why can't Tom go horse back riding? He is paralized from the neck down

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Q., Why did you mum eat mum on ur mom go die mom niga nigga cut me hang me lolololo A.my cat died shut up newb lololololo

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I friended Paul Walker on Xbox, but he's always in the Dashboard.

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What do you tell a 500 lb. Sumo wrestler who's eating your food? Stop eating my food.

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What does the English major do? Write anti-jokes because he has no job

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Q: What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: Nothing, they never met! :)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A chicken doesn't need a motive to cross a road, it just does.

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Why did the black guy get fired from his job. I asked first.

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Why was Jimmy afraid of coming out of the closet? He had agoraphobia.

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You cannot invite, hire people for money and expect loyalty Red, you need to make them earn the right to work for you, merits, background checks, consistency, friend, I can help you with a lot of my own experience, what saddens me about you being the leader, is that you have a good heart. And you are naive, a dangerous combination, if anyone such as Jonas shows up again, your life may be in danger, I mean you know who I am talking about.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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