your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was the blonde so stupid? He had dyslexia and to make fun of his hardship would truly be a hardship of human morals.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call ten black men running down the street? A race.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: How did Muhamid Ali ( casius clay ) get a black eye? A: He was born

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the black man get a life sentence in prison? Because he was involved a mass stabbing in a night club London which saw 4 local teenage girls lose there lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man decides to go hunting in the woods with a shotgun, he is going through the woods and a bear randomly pops out of no where, knocks him down and rapes him. So the next day he came back with an even bigger shotgun and said, "i am going to kill this bear" so he goes through the woods, the bear comes out of nowhere, knocks him down and rapes him again. So he comes back the next day with and even bigger shotgun and says, " i am going to kill this bear, skin it, and eat it" so hes going through the woods and out comes the bear, knocks him down, gets real close to his face and says, "you dont come out here for the hunting do ya".

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

pubic lice.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why dont we just make fun of both? *mexican music plays*

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Always bring food to the zoo. It's not the animals who placed the signs not to feed them.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

am i invited to party? no

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why's the sun red? It's not it's orange.........retard

thumb_up thumb_down -15

YO MOMMA SO FAT... that it is really beginning to be an issue.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What happen to the ginger after he posted a joke? He was put in jail for 6 months, and analy raped in prision!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

what did one lady say to another lady? we are both ladies

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why can't blondes change a lightbulb? Because they're women

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Eating chicken off a baby's ass

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Rose is Red Violet Blew Mustard is in Clue … What about Moni-… ahhh my eye!

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops