Why did the all the fish in the lake die? A pesticide bioaccumulated through the food chain.

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Why was there a lion in the bathroom? Because I threw a refrigerator at it and stapled a frog to its butthole, all while it was being chased by a 10 foot scorpion and a purple salmon that only had 1 eye.

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September 8, 2011 Amy Winehouse: 46 days sober. Date of death: July 23, 2011

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman went in a hot air balloon and had a magical afternoon that none of them will ever forget, except the Scotsman because he fell out during take off and is now in a coma.

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What's worse than falling off your bike? Getting hit by a truck.

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What did the toaster say to the bread? Nothing. Toasters can't talk.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough it was car. The End

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What was the sadest part about the four blacks who drove off a cliff in a cadilac? -The car sat five

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Your momma is so fat that she is on a diet and exercises regularly.

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So this guy's taking a hooker back to a hotel room, right? The woman turns out to be a federal agent investigating prostitution in inner-city inviornments, and the man is promptly arrested. He is now subject to a large fine and 90 days in a county jail.

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what do you call a black pilot? a pilot

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The Holocaust.

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Why did the group of black men not get paid for all of their manual labor? It was the early 1800's.

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What do you call a black man with gold teeth? Crunchie

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So a bear walks into a bar. Everyone in there goes hysterical with the fright. Two people are killed by it.

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Chuck Norris watches TV.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a Cadillac? One is a car and the other is a man. And it is insensitive to speak about race so blatantly, sir.

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Why did Hitler like his steak well done? Because like many people, he didn't like the sight of blood in his steaks.

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A bass player walks past a bar.......... "hey, it could happen"...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half of a worm in your apple. What's worse than finding half of a worm in your apple? Getting aids from that apple.

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Roses are red, I want a gravestone, nobody loves me, forever alone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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