Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

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What is the same about a bird and a turtle? They can both fly . . . except for the turtle

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why did my girlfriend get pregnet? i didn's use a condom, and my semen entered her long muscular tube, also known as a vagina.

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Wanna hear an inside joke? Cancer.

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Knock knock. Come in.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You touch yourself. I do, too.

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The jinx machine just stole your money... ... this poem was supposed to be funny

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch". The nearby patrons ask him what is ailing him.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You just glass her.

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What's more fun than nailing babies to a wall? Ripping them off again.

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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Ask me if I am an orange. "Are you an orange?" No.

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Guess what? You just lost the game.

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What's black and blue and red all over? Due to the infinite nature of the universe many items both natural and manufactured could be described in this manner.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane A pilot.

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What did the african american ninja say to the jewish bartender? Can I have a beer?

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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What did the 16 year old boy say to the obese girl who failed at typing? "sucks for you bitch-face."

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

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Why was sally crying? she was sad

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A dog goes into a bar. He is wearing an eye patch. The dog says to the bartender, "Have you heard the one about the one-eyed dog?" The bartender, who is deaf in one ear, thinks the dog is making fun of him. He asks him to leave. The dog says, "Don't you have a sense of humor, deafie?" At the end of his shift, the bartender is tired of all the jokes. Today it's a one-eyed dog. Yesterday it was a horse with rickets. The day before: ants. He lives above the bar, in a small room. He spends the night alone there, listing to his battery operated radio, which picks up only a bad jazz station. He listens to bad jazz with his bad ear.

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A women leaves the kitchen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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