After waking up at the break of dawn, a man saw his dogs food dish was empty. In slight excitement for his dog to finally eat after his dish being empty all night, he called his dog in from outside, expecting him to go straight to his food dish like always. The dog walked by without noticing.

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what did the guy who had unsafe sex get? A good time

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What do you call a group of men terrible at their jobs? The Mets

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What did the latino say when he was struck over the head with a shovel? "ouch"

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a horse walks into a bar except it wasn't a horse it was Sarah Jessica Parker

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3 jews sits in a car. Who drives? Not Hitler.

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Knock Knock Who is there? 9-11 9-11 who? You said you would never forget.

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Why did the man explode when he ate the cheeseburger? Because the man was actually a bomb.

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What kind of cat has no tail? Manx cat

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a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman walk into a bar. they all wish me happy birthday bearing gifts. except there's no rabbi. or priest. or shaman. I'm not in a bar. I'm in my room. alone. i spent most of my birthdays that way.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Guess what happened when a man took off his jumper?? He became cold!

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What do you call a black person pushing a car? A very strong human being.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: slightly aged post it note glue

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Why did the autistic man cross the road? He was also depressed. It was a highway.

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mooooh im a cow

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Q:What did the goat die? A: I dont know everything dies

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How can you tell which kids belong to Dolly Parton? From the strech marks on their lips :|

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How do you treat a homeless man? Like any other person, you disgusting fuck.

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A robot walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "can I get you a drink?" The robot replies, "No, I'm a robot."

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What do you get if you cross a black man with a knife? Stabbed.

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a dyslexic man can't spell a word, don't judge him

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Kid walks into principals office Principal: do you know why I called you down here. Kid: yeah, I punched a kid at lunch. Principal: that's not why I called you down here

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What did the hot rod say to the other hot rod Its hot in here

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops