Q: Why Did The Family Eat Olive Garden For Dinner A: Because it was a simple way to please everyone but letting them choose their own meal

What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

A dog was driving his car down the road right? Wrong dogs can't drive cars

Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

yo mama is so fat she broke a branch off the family tree

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. They order drinks, then leave without speaking to each other. It was pure coincidence they walked into the bar at the same time. They had no connections to each other, them being from three different countries.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

a man walks into a bar... he was then shot to death because he was a slave in the early 1800s

What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

Why was the kid crying Cuz there was a frog stapled to his head

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

What did the Cow say to the Chicken? Nothing animals cant talk

what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

This is sparta No this is patrick

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Misthrown

Yo mommas so fat We are terribly concerned about her health

Why couldn't the young girl play outside with her friends? She was bed ridden with terminal cancer.

When faced with an impossible question. I like to give, and maybe receive, an impossible, yet endearing, request/answer to the problem. Sex?

Why did Helen Kelley's dog run away I'd run away to if my name was. Ughgughgughgiggughfufh.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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