how do you stop a speeding vehicle? throw a refrigerator at it.

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Where did a homeless man find his easter eggs? In the bin.

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How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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How do you make an anti joke? You ask a question that could have a presumably amusing answer, but make the joke less amusing by stating an obvious answer, therefore completely bamboozling the victim of the anti joke, and making you seem like a man that has a lot of common sense.

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Why are there so many black basketball players? Because they aren't green.

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms

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21

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Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

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Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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How do you make a Nazi mad? You slash his tires.

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A street performer was sitting on a curb playing guitar when a black man walked up and put some money in the guitar case. The street performer nodded in appreciation of the man's donation and continued to play his instrument.

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Whats cooler than cool? Ice Cold.

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There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

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Why did people on a plane die? Because it crashed.

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Who likes to be fisted? Sock puppets.

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What did the ant say when he walked in the club. . . Nothing he was immediately stepped on.

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Why couldn't Mike answer the phone on time? On his way to the phone he was shot and killed.

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A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

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A man walk into a bar. Just kidding he has no legs.

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Poop swing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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