A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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why did the woman cross the road? to get to her full time job as a lawyer.

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What is worse than finding 4 worms in your apple 3 holocausts the 4th worm would be dead after 3 holocausts

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knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? - I dont know man, but you're adopted.

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What did the pacific ocean do to the Atlantic ocean? He waved.

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You know what's addicting? Heroine.

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What did the girl say when the boy asked her out? Yes.

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What's the difference between Skittles and black people? ...I like Skittles.

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how do you kill a Jewish person? you don't that just fucking mean!

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground last? Depends on their weight and drag co-efficient.

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A man decides to commit suicide and jumps from the highest building in New York, he dies instantly on impact... the day was septermber 11th 2001, either way it was the end for the man

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What's uneducated, black, and over six feet tall? A light pole.

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon nothing that was chuck norris's watermelon

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What's long and yellow? A yellow tube.

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adam shagged katie lololol

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Knock knock. I HAVE A SHOTGUN

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Ah, come in!

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he is Jewish

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? A problem What do you call 10 black men on the moon? A problem What do you call 100 black men on the moon? A problem What do you call ALL the black men on the moon? A very serious problem. We should probably try and rescue them.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Sgt. Richard, here... your son was raped many times by Iranian soldiers, then forced to make love to many goats and had his limbs chopped off.. he will never be able to walk, talk or poop without assistance again. OH MY GOD, NO!.. WHY!!! Haha just kidding mam, he stepped on a landmine and died.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Good guess!

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What would you get if I your donkey ate my chickens legs? A court order to have them seperated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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