When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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What did the man with one arm get for Christmas? A benchpress

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there was a Black and Mexican in a car who was driving? the cop

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ew. I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth! ...that's what she said!

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what did the carrot say to the rabbit? stop eating me you son of a B*****

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why did the guy in the wheelchair die? He was mauled by tigers.

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What did the white male say to the black male who had just robbed a bank? I'm glad you have a reliable source of income to feed yourself and your family

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how do you get a nun pregnant? have unprotected SEX with her, resulting in expulsion from her convent

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

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A family has been forced out of their house by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?... Their insurance company.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My family is dead

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What does bigfoot have? Big feet.

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A hispanic priest with a huge boner walks into a bar.

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Why did the kid poo his pants? Because he was Matt Daly

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't know any better. It very recently was decapitated in order tofeed the farmers family.

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Your mother is so obese, that when shot with a high velocity round from a handgun, the bullet is unlikely to penetrate the several layers of fat protecting her vital organs, like a fleshy kevlar vest. However, she is likely to die from infection, which is highly commom among gunshot wounds.

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

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One day I went to the shop and bought some milk. THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE turtle man came with me. YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE live action

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You know what it means when a priest lays his watch down on a podium? Absolutely nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops