Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

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I heard that you could burn punds so I found a fat kid and set him on fire

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You are basically asking if I care for you, care for me, and if this could put us both in risk... There is no picking at this stage, why would I use you?

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In Soviet Russia a lot of people were killed for voicing their opinion against Stalin

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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dyslexics of the world untie!

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Julian Ha.

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What do you call people in a plane crash? Whatever, i wasn't on the plane.

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So lion bites off a mans foot. He bleeds to death.

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What is funny about a cod swimming around alone in the ocean? Nothing, over-fishing is a huge problem in the modern day.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Is that really What I just said?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was an avocado

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What's great about taking a shower with a twelve year old girl. Pulling her hair back and making her look like a six year old

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Q: Why was the Asian teacher fired from her job? A: Because she always showed to school too late and to make matters worse the school had recently found out that she was a raging alcoholic.

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I Raped And Killed A Little Girl Called Zoe. It All Started When I Raped A Girl In Her School, I Always Waited Outside Of Her School in my white van, one day the girl I raped before Zoe confronted me in my white van, I asked her if she wanted to see my puppies in the back of the van, she said yes, I locked her in there, I kidnapped her. The next day that girl Mysteriously Died. Iwonder how? Tee hee hee... The next day Zoe came up to my van, She also said yes about the puppies too! I kidnapped her and raped her. The next day I was rushed to hospital, I was revealed by the doctor I Had Been Diagnosed With HIV, I knew it was from her because she is the only girl I'd raped, So I walked home. When I Was Walking Home, I Was Thinking About How Angry I Was With That Lil' Bitch; I Was Thinking of ways to kill her, when I got home I heard her listen to; Bang Bang~ By Ariana Grande, Nikki Minaj And Jessie J. That Got Me thinking, Ah, that's how I am going to kill her. So I opened my cage and Got my gun out; I killed her. Blood Was Dripping Down from her head, I Grabbed the corpse and put It in my basement, after that I started licking her fanny, Drinking Her pussy juice. Then I drained all of her Blood out of her body and bottled it. After all the draining I had 600,000 Bottles. I Drunk one of them. and may I just say: it was delicious! After that, I went online and sold all the bottles to I.Am.A.Vampire.Com For £1million Pounds!! Man is now mega rich and I brought a slut and fucked her. I Now lift a fucking amazing life because of a vulnerable, Dumb Ass girl called Zoe. Thank you!!!!!

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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How many dead bodies does it take to fill up a bathtub? Wellll.......... It depends on how big the bathtub is.

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There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

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What is red? A rock painted red

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A cat walks into a bar, the bartender says "pussy?"

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STFU Stop Tickling Fuzzy Unicorns they really don't like it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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