When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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How do all Asians look? With their eyes.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

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Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

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Man walks into a bar and goes, "Ouch!"

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

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Ill never forget the last phone conversation i had with my Jewish friend before he died due to the 9/11 incident. Friend:owejpq3jhp3qjopiqwejhriopjhaiophfioashiohwih13ioh3f2893hoiqehefioahfioahisdpahdfajdfopasjiopdfajdfopsajradalkdjakldja;hdfkl;adhlpa;dhfakl;dhkladhkadhlkhdjklahdjkgsdjkgbdqwgy3bi3grqbhgjkasjkdkasjdgjkadgskajgdkajdsgjkasgdad

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why did the man pee in public? ... he couldnt hold it in.

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Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice container? Because she was proud of her work as Chief Marketing Director of Tropicana.

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Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

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saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

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Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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Knock knock Go fuck yourself

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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what do you call a black man that killed somebody? a murderer.

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

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Yo momma's so black, when yo poppa rides her, he says "Look! I'm Hiccup!"

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Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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