Your momma's so fat; She has a constant sense of insecurity due to the instability in her relationships caused by her involuntary obesity.

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How do you annoy Lady Gaga? Stab her with a knife.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's been brutally cut open.

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You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

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So two cannibals are eating a clown. Cannibal one: Does this taste funny to you? Cannibal two: Considering that this man was a clown he must have been in poverty so he resulted to being an alcoholic and maybe over dosed on over the counter drugs. Cannibal one: Thank you for that reasonable answer.

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why did the monkey fall dead out of the tree? because edward cullen raped it up the arse sooo many times it died from internal bleeding.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and asks for directions to the nearest Applebee's.

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Whats better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics????? NOT BEING RETARDED!!!!!!!

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because she had no legs. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally...

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Bailiffs.

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An Irish man walks out of a bar..... 'nuff said

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Q:What do African American men call the Internet? A:The Internet

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

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Q: Why did the little girl scream? A: She didn't have a rape whistle.

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What does an unemployed black man and a mexican have in common? They both like to shop at forman mills because they have reasonably priced clothing items.

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Religion.

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how do you know when your in love? massive erection.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I got to go now Gonna take a poo.

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Q. Where do you find Indonesia A. On a map

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What did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? Get off the roof.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? An episode of 'Friends'.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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