This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What never seems to get old? AIDS.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. You are under arrest for sodomy.

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What did the redneck say to the Muslim? Nothing, he is too blinded by racial hatred and ignorance after terrorist attacks on the U.S to speak with him despite having common interests, such as baseball.

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I've got a joke for you. The people writing these jokes. Thats a joke.

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There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

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A man walks into a pole.

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A woman's opinion

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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Q. What language cant you speak A.Sign language

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

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Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

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Yo mamas so fat, that I need a new pair of sunglasses.

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Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

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The chicken hesitated to cross the road. It pondered endlessly on the ramifications of not crossing the road, the future jokes that would never have been made. So it crossed the road with no real purpose for others to come up with unique ideas. Just kidding there is no proof that chickens have ever existed. There is proof that Barack Obama is a woman, however.

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This is a racist joke but who cares!? What is the difference between a black guy and a bag of shit? The bag I apologize to all my fellow black friends. -Lets go MEts

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What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

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Why did the business man move to New York? Because he saw a potential business opportunity that could benefit him and his loving family.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a black man A pizza can feed a family of four

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What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

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Q:What's red and fluffy? A: A blue rock, if blue were red and rocks were fluffy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops