Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

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Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

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Suzie has no arms and no legs and is on a swing. what happened? she fell and died knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

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lol

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Yo mama so stupid she tried to drown a dog and was quite successful at it. Know she serves a death sentence.

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got a new boxing bag the other day its hanging from the top of my stairs its called dead seb

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Grandma walked into the kitchen...

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

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What does a tree and a human have in common? They both fall if you chop them with an axe.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

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What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

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your momma is so poor she had you just for the free milk

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What do you Call L.L. Cool J's mexican cousin? El El Bean

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In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

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Q.Want to hear somthing that will never happen A. Sure A. the Houston Astros won a game.

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Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

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Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

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I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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