A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Abraham Lincoln was the 16th Presient of the United States of America. The president to follow him was Andrew Johnson, president number 17.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +6

HTML

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I am just trying to grasp the terms you use Nero, you are a genius, I mean I always heard about it, but honestly, well, my first impression of you here was... Different.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

My Girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Jew walks into a gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

-Hey, Larry! How much is one plus one? -Two

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Bobby walked into a bar. He was then escorted out of the bar and arrested because he was underage.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

thumb_up thumb_down +4

"Roses are Red" "Violets are Blue" That's what they say, But it isn't true. Violets are violet, Now stop sniffing glue!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A woman refuses to make a sandwich and walks away unharmed.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why don't I ever lmao? Because my ass got bitten off by a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the immigrants.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms. They were lost in a tractor accident.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What do you call a robot in a concert? A: Electric fan

thumb_up thumb_down

You know George Washington? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops