Once a upon a time there were three kittens that die, the end :D

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What do you get when you drink water? Piss.

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What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. Q: The one stopped. Why? A: His brother fell off, cracked his head, started uncontrollably bleeding and died.

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender

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How do you kill a blonde? By irreparably damaging a major organ. The same way you kill anything else.

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Pants and God shorts: God: Jews ur my people nao! Jews: Yay we are Gods chosen people! Riches and gRape awaits us! World domination next! God: Well, not quite what I meant but, err... Close enough? Jews: YAY! Moral: So much for "the chosen ones" :(

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boys

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Why did the woman cross the road? Trick question, she didn't because she was in the kitchen.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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how much will u suck my dick for? $100, $50, $25, o u said none so u give freebees!!!!

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Another holocaust.

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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Whats worse than 4 dead babies in a bucket? finding an actual joke on Anti Joke.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, With a penis so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin, If my ear was a cunt, that’d be strange.

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-What did George Clooney say to Jennifer Lawrence? -"Hi!"

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Q. What is the difference between an ass kisser and a brown noser? A. Depth Perception.

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Two muffins are cooling on a windowsill. One muffin says to the other "It sure is a beautiful day today." The other muffin says "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

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Knock Knock Who's there? I eat mop I eat mop who? That's strange, most American's don't eat poo I'm Asian

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have u ever have to clean up ur own poop? me niether.

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Why did Ian pass his CRB check? Because he committed his crimes on holiday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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