Why did the kid die last night? because his mum stabbed him multiple times in the chest.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but it nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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Question: how many times a power rangers episode show a power rangets face ANSWER: dont ask me im not that big of a power rangers!

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Today, my friend threw a lemon at me very hard and hit me in the testicles. FML

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Who invented the Iceberg Salad? The Titanic

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why did the man take a poo because his rectum exploded

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What do you call a black priest? a priest, you racist

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Knock Knock Who's there It's me open the door

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A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse didn't respond, because it's a horse.

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What do you call a black man with a gun? Officer.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, dont read my words, says the ring of lords.

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you know why Michael J Fox makes the best milkshakes? no... but his milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard

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What is not funny Bad jokes!????

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When life gives you lemons, you go to a therapist and seek help because your dementia has progressed to the point that you are seeing and feeling illusions.

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Why was the Jimmy Sad? Because he had Autism.

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What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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What the the newly born male dog get for his first birthday? A loss of two testicles.

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Why did a chicken cross the road? To see The Doors.

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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you know whats worse than being cold? being colder

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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