I own two ferrets. I was merely stating something factual.

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Q: A man, already drunk, walked into a bar. What did he say? A: Ouch!

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How did the guy who's been in his mothers basement for 20 years lose his virginity? He didn't, that's where his mother hid his body.

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You Mom is so ugly, It makes sense why you always have that look on your face!

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Brother Bro-ther Broad her Soap

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knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

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What did jonah say to your mum ... Nothing jonah is your mum

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is a chicken and is not intelligent enough to know that he is about to be hit by a bus while hopelessly searching for food under an elderly man's nose.

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Hmmm, how would Sherlock Holmes solve a crime?... Oh wait. He doesn't exist.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I gotta go to the bathroom

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Roses are red, Bacon is red, Poems are hard, Bacon

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A three-legged prostitute, a coal miner, and R. Kelly walk into an all-midget rendition of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. The miner has a heart attack and dies. The concubine and the vocalist do nothing to help.

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Roeses are purple violets are green WTF u just stabbed me.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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My did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the doctor tell his patient? Unfortunately you have cancer.

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Why did the German Constitutional Court issue Decision 2 BvR 1390/12 on September 12, 2012? Because they wanted to refuse the request for a temporary injunction in regards to the European Stability Mechanism!

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Question: You are in a bed between a hot chick and a gay guy, who do you turn your back to? Answer: False, I am to unattractive to find myself in bed with anybody else.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they work hard at it

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Walnut

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Q: What did the poor man do when he saw a Ferrari? A: He realized that he would really enjoy having the money to buy such a nice vehicle, so he decided to take it upon himself to enroll in night classes. After many years of hard work, he earned a degree and a high-paying position at a large software corporation, and bought his dream car. He often told the story to his children as an example of what hard work and a goal in mind could achieve you. He lived a long, productive life and died fulfilled.

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1,2,3,4,5... 6.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

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Q: Why did the duck eat some grass? A: because we are so careless that we caused global causing the entire pond to shrink to a size where it cannot raise a family and the fish could not prosper so the duck could not eat what it had forcing it do consume an inedible substence causing it to die because is not a natural part of a ducks diet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops