Q: How much jizz does a gay guy have? A: a butt load

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What did the Holocaust survivor say when asked about their memories in the deathcamps? A: I'd rather not think about it.

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Where do you find a vegetable? Where you left him

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Q. What did Nelson say to his men before they boarded ship? A. "Board ship men"

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i like my coffee like i like my women. without a penis

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What starts with p and ends in orn? Popcorn

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What's the difference between Josef fritsal and a fridge? A fridge can be thrown at a bowl of custard.

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Q: What happened to the monkey when he jumped off the tree. A: He died Q: Why did the second monkey jump off of the tree A: He was attatched to the first monkey Q: Why did the third monkey jump off the tree A: Peer Pressure

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What did the dyslexic boy get for Christmas? A laptop. And he was very happy.

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Why do all black people look the same? They don't, you're either just racist or unobservant.

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Q: Why wouldn't the other kids play with Timmy at recess? A: Because he was a burn victim and had no face.

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why cant black people swim? I dont know but they killed my family

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Whats gay, has a nice ass, and can such a mad dick? Everyone at LNS, including me, Glenn. Just kidding I like bitches.

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Why did the purse kill a circus yeast? Secks

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What did the over confident jack-ass say to the hot girl, You'll do.

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Uh, well I think of it as quirky and charming, odd weird, maybe unexpected, I could have looked it up but I am dying of lack of sleep here.

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Knock, knock ... ... No one answers the door because knocks produce a quieter sound than a doorbell and the residents of the house are upstairs watching a movie.

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A blind, black guy walks into a building. Unfortunately it was a secret KKK building and they beat him, raped him and left him to die. Luckily he was found alive and transported to the hospital. To bad the hospital was bombed by Al Queda.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Whats Better Than Apple Pie Sweeeet Pie

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because lately the posts on "anti-joke.com" have not been anti-jokes. Not even a little.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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knock, knock Who's there? A social worker, we are taking your children into costody because your wife has reported you to the police for molesting them.

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A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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