What do Helen Keller, Stevie Wonder, and Ray Charles have in common? They were all mentioned in the previous sentence.

Q: Why did Suzie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

What do you call a man who was just struck in the head with a bowling ball? An ambulance would be the most appropriate thing to call since this man just sustained a serious head injury and medical responders should be contacted, lest his brain start hemorrhaging.

Why was the black man arrested? Tax evasion.

How do you kill a blonde girl? You put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a filled pool.

mark lawson likes boys

Why didn't Helen Keller have headphones? Because they weren't invented

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? There are many things that could be considered worse than finding a worm in one's apple. In addition, the matter of better or worse depends upon the point of view of the person in question, so what is worse than finding a worm in one person's apple may be preferable to finding a worm in another person's apple.

Why did the cow cross the road? It was escorted by its owner to get to the slaughter-house.

Knock Knock Whose there? A field full of mexicans A field full if mexicans who? F**k You

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

Why was the Jamaican man smoking pot? His doctor prescribed it. The man has a serious case of glaucoma.

Why can't Helen Keller conduct a Train. Because she is dead.

What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

A white female funded a strong relationship with an african american male. One year later the white female was driving to work and had to slam on the breaks to stop a potention crash.

knock knock who's there... you you who who the fuck are you

What's rape when you shout surprise? The crime, committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with him, especially by the threat or use of violence.

Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

What's harder than winning an argument with a woman. Lonsdaleite which has recently been declared the hardest substance known to man, and can withstand 58% more stress than the hardest diamond crystal.

Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Bus....

*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

what is big and can make things come out? a gun

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A drum set.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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