A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

A man walks into a bar, then he leaves and goes home

Q:Howd the blind kid find his way home? A:He didnt, he got lost and died of starvation.

So, there was two successful business men at a social gathering when one leans in to the other to comment, "Hey, that women over there, she looks like your wife!" to which the other one replies, "That is my wife."

These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

What did one chick in a clothes shop say to another? That's cheap

What is the difference between and Jew and a Boy Scout? The Boy Scout comes back from camp.

dude ur such a bon of a sitch

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead..

Why doesn't the boy get anything for Christmas? His parents died the night before!

Why did the Arab bomb the US? Because it was his job.

whats worse than being payton johnson being black

cliché rebecca black joke.

A man walks into a bar at 1 in the afternoon. He's the bartender and a fellow employee asked him to cover the afternoon shift.

I couldnt remember who Rhiana used to date. Then it hit me.

Q: What do you call a black woman who can't tell you who her baby daddy is? A: "Mam". Rape is a serious and painful crime, and the strength to raise a child on her own without her consent is worthy of respect.

roses are red and have big balls woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

What if the rest of you value something wrong?

Why Couldn't the pirates see the movie? Because the mall strictly enforced local curfew laws ; and one of the pirates was unable to provide a valid form of identification.

Why are Chinese people short? Chinese people are often exposed to harmful chemicals because of lax environmental laws, and suffer from poor nutrition.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would run away too if your name was urdaagaa.

Q: Why can't a tomato fly a plane? A: Cuz it's a tomato

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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