"My, what big teeth you have!" exclaimed Little Red Riding Hood. "Because I'm a wolf," explained the wolf. "And I dress in women's clothing because it makes me happier."

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What's one very bad way to injure yourself? Smashing your head against a metal surface

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Why did the gambler sell his house? Because he needed money to pay for male hookers.

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just sit down and dont be a Jew

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What is green and looks like a blue car? A Green car

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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more chocolate?

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What is the best way to eat a dead baby? I don't know. That is incredibly disgusting.

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What did the prostitute get for Christmas Money

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What's the difference between a stepfather and a turkey? A stepfather is a man who married a woman who has already had a family with another man but the man does not mind because he has fallen deeply in love with her and wants to spend the rest of his life with the woman. A turkey is completely different in many respects.

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D/M/Y ~~ Take 21/12/2012 Flip it upside down Take the 2's out from both ends (1/12/201) Take out all the ones and two's (//0) Take your zero and turn it 90 degrees to the right Take out the forward slashes What you are left with, a potato.

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READ IT ALL> whats the difference between a jew and a pizza...the jew is a human with living features and organs that keep his body hydrated while also keeping his blood pumped throughout him, otherwise the pizza is a circular, doe based cake like food topped with a fine layer of cheese and in some cases topped of with other substances such as pineapple or ham :)

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This is on of those few moments where my guts and attitude leave me feeling as if the entire world is against me... ...Then I cant help but to smirk and think... The world against me? Finally a worthy challenge... Such a great day... Nero because fuck morals: Friends and not so friends do not call me Black Metal because I listen to power rock, my mother high on drugs attacked my wife claiming she was Satan, I killed my angel dust empowered mother, felt as if the world was against me... ...Such a great day... "I killed my father too but you dont hear me whining about it!" And of course... ...Rest in pieces oh "dear" mother", at least you did one good thing, you gave birth to your undertaker, while I killed you to end my lifelong misery, My only regret is ending yours... Now I request you all think I am a monster and pretend we live in a world where all parents are nice and good... You already deluded yourself? Perhaps you should thumb me up instead then.

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What did the dancing amphibious landing craft say to the carrot faced caterpillar? wanna get in its cold

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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What's short, green, and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What did the deaf guy get for Christmas? An iTunes gift card

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Whats the difference between a garage full of dead babies and a garage full of money? I don't have a garage full of money

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gastapo

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Roses are Red Violets are Gay This poem makes no sense Octopus

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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A woman becomes pregnant. 9 months later she has a baby.

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What did Batman tell Robin before he entered the batmobile? Robin, I had sex with your mother this last Thursday.

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if life throws you lemons you must be dyslexic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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