What did Jesus REAREAREAREVENAGNCEREALLY SAY when he was walkin on da waterz? And I bless this object which shalth now be known as the surfboard, Amen. Seriously, im a Christian, that sounds kinda cute in a weird way... Like aww, thats why he walked on water, not because of terrifying super powers.

Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

Why couldn't sally go on the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there Sally

Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because it escaped from the farm.

A black man, a Jew, and a homosexual are at a bar together. They drink for a few hours, during which time they catch up with each other and share stories, as it has been some time since the three of them have seen each other. After they are done drinking, they call a friend, who comes to pick them up and take them home. What a fine example of drinking responsibly.

Your in a building there's no windows ,doors and a sement floors and u only have a mirror and a table how do you get out You look in the mirror see what u saw take the saw saw the table in half two halfs make a hole clime out the hole

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

If life gives you lemons, Eat them.

What's the best way to pick up girls? Lift with your legs, not your back.

I am a n1gger.

So a Jew an Asian and a gay guy all walk into a bar... ...I lied. It was an oven.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a man? One's tall the other's not

how do you blindfold an asian...a piece of dental floss

What did the Black construction worker say to the Asian salesman? I want some milk.

- How breakdance was invented? - A certain black man was trying to stole rims from moving car.

Robin, get in the batmobile.

Why couldn't Ray Charles read? He was blind.

Why did the bus crash? The driver was a tomato.

What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Having legs.

What's worse than having amnesia? I don't remember.

Whats the difference between a jewish man wearing a fedora and glass of almond milk? Ones a glass of almond milk.

why did the little boy put a bandaid on his knee. it doesn't really matter, he has cancer.

Why did Janie miss school today? Because she fell in a well.

Q: Why can't Eric drive a car? A: Because Eric is a rock

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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