What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? D-12.

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's wet.

It wa Jerry's first day of kindergarten He pulled out a .44 magnum and shot himself under the chin where he was instantly dead... Yes, dead

A horse walks into a bar and doesnt order a drink. Because he cant.

Why did the Mexican go to the food marke To get some food.

It was a warm summer day when justin beiber got hit by the bus everyone was cheering

A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: What kind of bread would you like, brown or white? Penguins answers: Well, it doesn't really matter since I drove here.

Whats worse then being raped? Nothing it will ruin your life.

Whats worse than than falling in a puddle on the way to a meeting? Getting shot while your at that meeting.

water, hydrated silica, glycerin, sorbitol, PVM/MA copolymer, sodium lauryl sulfate, flavor, cellulose gum, sodium hydroxide, propylene glycol, carrageenan, sodium saccharin, titanium dioxide all adds up to colgate. SO AS A MATTER OF FACT, CHEESE PLUS PIE IS CHICKEN. CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT I LIKE SAYING CHEESE, JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL BECAUSE THEY WERE BAGELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did the fat lady poop on my knee? Because i'm thirsty.

A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

Follow the Yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road........except it's not yellow.

Wanna hear a joke? No.

yo momma so fat i abuse my wife

what did the homeless guy get for christmas nothing!

You know what is really annoying? An annoying baby that wont stop crying while you are trying to do very important work.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. False. Violets are violet

why did little suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock: Who's there? Not little suzy Why did the car crash? Little suzy was driving Why didn't little suzy ride her bike home? She died of her injuries from the car crash

Me: You know what's funnier than 24. Friend: 25? Me: No, 9/11

why did the white man jump out of the car? because the car was crashing

Q. What does McDonald's and Michael Jackson have in common? A. They both stick their meat in 13 year old buns.

Johnny got hit by a bomb. Where is he now? Everywhere. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Johnny

What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Shot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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