Saying "MY MOM" everyone time ur asked a question

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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all muslims get the fuck out of britain you fucks

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Knock knock? Who's there? To. To who? To WHOM.

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What do you get when you cross a donkey and a hemophiliac? A bleeding ass!

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Knock Knock! .... Knock Knock! ... There seems to be nobody at home...

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Why is Pawn Stars the best show on the History Channel? Because Pawn Stars is the only show on the History Channel.

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How does one peel a potato? First I would suggest going to your local grocery store, and purchasing a vegetable peeler (although, in fact, the potato is not considered a vegetable). Once at home, I recommend disinfecting it of germs. Unless you already own a vegetable peeler, in which case I would simply peel the potato as every normal human would.

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What do you call 99 lawyers in a car going off a cliff with no driver and another lawyer running in the other direction? A dick move.

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Jesus Christ walks into a bar and the bartender says "Holy crap it's Jesus!" and everyone quickly updates their Facebooks.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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Why did the pedophile get arrested? He was driving way over the speed limit.

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Two cowboys are in a kitchen. The first one says, "I feel at Home on the range!" To which the second replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he has never pursued his real dream.

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What do you call a black kid with dead parents? Depressed

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Why was the little boy so bad at the piano? It was his first time playing it.

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How many people with Alzheimers does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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what's green and has wheels? grass, i lied about the wheels.

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarterback ever (this isn't a joke only a true statement)(this is a remake of a previous joke)

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how do you save a black guy from drowning. with a life preserver.

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What ended the black family's picnic? Rain.

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guess what? chicken butt.

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Roses are red, Violets are black, Why is your chest, as flat as your back

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What did one prisoner on death row say to the other? Can you please clean off the seat when you're done? I'd like to die in my own urine.

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Why did the fat kid drop his Mcdonalds? Because he had a stroke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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