Why did the old man have only one foot? Sadley, the other one was shot off in World War II and life hasnt been the same for him since.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you shoot a basketball? With your hands

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, And I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down

you'r mom is so fat that whenever she goes to the doctors, they are concerned about her cholesterol levels and high blood pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down

do you want to hear a joke?

thumb_up thumb_down

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't the man walk? Because his leg is broken.

thumb_up thumb_down

Hey, why are asians yellow and africans brown? I'm colorblind.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't the ten year old watch a porno movie? Because it was on blu-ray and his family only owned a regular dvd player.

thumb_up thumb_down

The 13th Amendment...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you avoid dying? You can't everything dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yo mama is an upstanding member of her community.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did the horse say to the bartender? why the short face?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did the asain have for dinner? A: rice

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you get when an elephant and a penguin have a baby? Dunno, it's seems highly improbable.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A dog and a bird are sitting in the front yard of a small suburban community. The bird turns to the dog and says nothing, because birds lack the ability to speak. The dog then reaches down and slowly consumes the bird before returning to his house.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a wife and a chef? A chef has the choice to leave the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

good one jess !!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two rabbis standing at the buffet cart. The first exclaims "Oy vey, those pork chops look good!". The second shrugs, turns to his friend and remarks, "So do your wife's norks".

thumb_up thumb_down -4

luke moore cant pull it back

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do you get when you cross a scotsman who doe'snt know anything about football,and a indian who doe'snt anything about football .blackburn rovers , and a good night out.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the toast land butter side down. The devil visited earth that day and therefore everything that could go wrong did.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get when you cross North Korea and the boston marathon? BOMBS! :(

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops