Why did the kid start to cry? His parachute didn't open.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you leave a gay guy in suspense? How? ......................

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Chuck Norris' farts are silent and deadly. Deadly because he's Chuck Norris, silent because his butthole is extremely loose

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Lil' Wayne

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Boob Top view B Front view oo Side view b

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs? A: Russell

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A: Knock knock. B: <>

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What is worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? One baby stapled to 50 trees. What is worse than one baby stapled to 50 trees? One tree stapled to 50 babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Ask me if I am a potato Are you a potato No.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Roses are brown, violets are brown, who is s***ing in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Yes, finally caught that mouse!

thumb_up thumb_down +60

A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

thumb_up thumb_down +56

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

A white man and a black woman run for president The Black woman received 65% of all woman votes, 75% of all Hispanics and 99% of all black votes. The White man still won, and was a great president.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What did the man get when he found a genie in a lamp? The rest of his life in an asylum for schizophrenia.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Ask me if I´m an orange. Are you an orange? No I? a person.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops