Why did the math teacher cry during 6th period? He was held at gunpoint.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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1+1=3 If you don't use a condom.

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What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

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What do you call a black man driving a police car? Officer

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. Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call a person with no eyes? Blind.

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a blond, brunette, and red head run away from cops and hide in potato sacks. the officer went up to the brunette and kicked the potato bag and the brunette went "woof" "woof". the officer went to the red head and kicked the potato bag and the red head went "meow" "meow". the officer goes to the blond and kicked the potato bag and the blond went "potato".

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Why did Billy get a 102% on his Algebra test? He got all of the questions correct including the bonus question. Oh, and he slept with the teacher.

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How do you have gay sex? I don't know ask Jordan Braun

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What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

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What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Why did the young boy say "Fuck"? He has Tourrete's

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GRAAAAAAAAAAAR.

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Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

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knock knock, who's there? you goodbye

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane. A pilot

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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Why was Superman white? Because Jerry Siegel is a racist.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

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Friends are like trees. They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

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Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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