- Anti Joke

Did you know every 46 seconds somebody commits suicide Thumbs up for pancakes!

you know what they say about people with big feet, they have big feet...

Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

The Charlotte bobcats.

What's 5+7? Piccillo

A: Ask me if im a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb. Two. But it would have to be a very big lightbulb to fit both of them in there.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers

Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

Why was the asian guy's eyes slanted? Your question is a very valid one that most people often wonder, but never really ask. It's called an epicanthal fold...please, NOT "slanted eyes". Many people consider this to be a derogatory description of the descendents or those of Eastern Asia (as do I, being half Korean), but most people are unaware of this and say it anyway. I'll assume you didn't know this. :) The epicanthal fold (what we have) is something that all babies are born with, but those who may not be of Eastern Asian origin will eventually lose. The purpose of this "fold" is to protect the eyes from extreme sunlight and cold weather. Most people of the this part of Asia originated in Mongolia where the weather conditions were very cold and harsh. Also, with most of this population, you'll notice that there exists some extra padding below the eyes as well. With all that white snow and the sunlight reflecting off of it, don't you think with time our bodies would develop some sort of defense for one of our most valued senses--our sight? It makes sense, doesn't it? Also, notice, that the farther south you travel in Eastern Asia the "rounder" the eye gets (their is less evidence of the epicanthal fold), since the climate gets warmer the farther south you go. Evolution, baby. So, Eastern Asian eyes are NOT really slanted. They just appear to be. Instead they just have that extra fold above the eyes that make them appear "thinner", if you will. If you want to sound halfway intelligent, please don't use the description "slanted eyes" anymore, since this will only make you seem like somewhat of a bigot (racist). (You might say it around the wrong person one day.) Sorry, but I'm just trying to give you some good advice. I hope I helped.

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

Why dose not the cat bark? Because it's a cat!

What do you call a Mexican and a Black man on the moon? Astronauts.

Why was the boy upset? Because he has a frog stapled to his face.

Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

What did the dog say to the human. "Woof."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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