Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

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Guy 1: Yo dawg Guy 2: DID yOU JUST FUCKING CALL ME A DOG>/?>/???? Guy 3: Yea

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Why did little Johnny eat his homework? Because his family is very poor and he rarely eats.

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Hummer.

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Un petit gars se plante en vélo et il se met à pleurer.

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WTF BOOOOOM

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Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner fudge is made. This market has a very dynamic and fresh selection.

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My mom's dead

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Do you know how I know that you're gay? You told me you are gay.

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Ever heard about the gray pipes that ran along the walls? Those pipes transmit gas. Gas killed the jews. You sick fucker.

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I like the Tsarnaev brothers. They ran the Boston marathon and had a BLAST!

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why did the man cross the road? Because he needed to cross the road to reach his destination that was across the road

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why was the man coughing? because there was a knife in his throat.

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Whats red and hairy ? A carpet !

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What do you call a black man with scissors.? A Barber.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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minorities.

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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Whats worse than a flat tire? penile fracture

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mourn the loss of his daughter who died due a fatal car crash, caused by him while he was driving. across the street

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Women's sports.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? However many seats there are

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How can you tell if a Mexican's gay? Ask politely.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a whore, Let's have sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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