Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which evidently do not understand the dangers of crossing a busy road.

What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

Billy: Mom.... Dad, I have decided that I want to live on my own. Parents: Great son! We're so proud of you! Billy: Thanks for your support! Your luggage is outside by the taxi.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

What did the man tell his parents after having sex with another man? A. I am gay.

An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

how do you say desk in spanish? escritorio

Like this joke

How did Hitler die? He saw his gas bill

Q: Why did the horse put on cologne? A: He wanted to smell nice.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

What do you call a mouse that sings? Justin Bieber

What is the difference between a grape and an elephant? They are both grapes, except for the elephant.

How did shaniqua fall of the hill? because the diabito truck ran her over

what do rappers cover? ->CANDY CREDITS: ANUJ NARAYAN VARMA from Leland high school

what do you do when you see a 40 ft tall gorilla? WHO CARES, RUN!

Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

Why did the japanese bomb pearl harbor? they wanted to weaken the US naval fleet to stop the US embargo on oil being shipped to japan

Person 1: It's your birthday? Person 2: Yeah! Person 1: Oh.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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