What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

the chicken whent boomand then died

Adam Sandler.

Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

How did the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

what is poop in pee? bagel thins? tuesday.

What do you call a fish that is missing an eye. fsh.

Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

Why did the chicken cross the road? His motives so far are unknown as he is a chicken, and therefor cannot divulge the information.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

A squirrel got killed by getting hit by a truck haha its funny cuz the squirrel died

why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor My neighbor who? I already told you, it's pronounced "Wu". I'm very sorry, Mr. Wu

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Knock Knock Whos there Reality* Knock Knock *Opens Door*

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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