Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

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How did the baby survive the car accident? He didn't. He was killed on impact.

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What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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