What's blue and can't have sex? A blueberry

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who is s***ing in my garden?

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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What is this a book??!!! What am I supposed to do...... READ IT?????!!!!!!!!!

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

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What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

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Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Why didn't the blonde get into college? She was killed in a car accident.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Why cant Hellen Keller Drive? Because shes a women.

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What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

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Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

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What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

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Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

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Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

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knock knock, who's there? you goodbye

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Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

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There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops