A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? As this question does not provide neccesary information, a plausible answer cannot be found.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

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What did the lover say to his lover? I love you

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how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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- I did your mom last night! - Thanks, Dad.

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Todays word of the day, is "legs" lets head back to your place and spread the word....

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A British man walks into a dental office.

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Wanna Hear A Joke ? Afgan

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What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

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why did hannibal lector butter up the teacher? he wanted to get a good grade. he also wanted to eat her

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what's worse than one scoop of ice crea falling on the floor? - the holocaust what's worse than two scoops of ice cream falling on the floor? - nothing

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

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How did the blond die? Substance abuse

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What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware? Get in the boat.

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The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

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Whats the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick into someones ass

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gregory Pelnick

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yo mama is so fat she went to the doctor and the doctor told her she had diabetes

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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Whats the worst part about being fat? Your fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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