Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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What is brown and sticky?

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Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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What is a question?

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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You know what's annoying When you suddenly die of a heart attack

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A man walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a glass of milk. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve milk here.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

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What's the difference between a white person and a black person? The presence of melanin in their skin, as well as often their socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds.

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Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because he was dead...

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Why couldn't the women drive? She was dead

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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Justin Beiber does not have a really good voice.

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World Peace

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a man walked into a bar, however the bar was in Pakistan so he got shot by terrorists

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Q: What kills millions of people each year and sneaks up behind you unexpectedly? A: HIV/AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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