Why did the lemming jump off a cliff? Because he was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did a guy with schizophrenia does it take to walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

My friends are like trampolines I have none

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They are obviously different species but they both have wings and are birds and are actually pretty similar. Geese are usually bigger though I guess.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, Violets are blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is samios' favorite position? ;) Full back... In the bum.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Has anyone told you, you look fat today?" "Because you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

your mom is so poor that she is unable to pay for your child care leaving you to have a terrible childhood, troubled adolescence, and eventually lie passed out in an alley after OD'ing off of heroin.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why was the horse sad his wife had terminal cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red violets are blue I have a pie would you like some?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

3 people walk into a bar. They order the same drinks. Upon receiving these drinks, they all promptly left. This is not a funny joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink water!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what do you call a diver with no arms and no legs? a bobber

thumb_up thumb_down +9

When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A white man bumps into an Asian man while walking down the street. They have a brief chat. As they part ways, the white man says, "Facebook me!" The Asian man replies, "Due to my socio-economic situation I cannot currently afford an Internet service." So they exchange telephone numbers.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A Jewish man overhears another man making a joke about the Holocaust. The Jew says, "Hey! You! My father died in the Holocaust!" The other man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What camp was he in?" The Jew says, "Camp? No, my father had a heart attack."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What has two feet and cant walk? a cripple

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops