If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

thumb_up thumb_down +6

American Idol

thumb_up thumb_down +6

That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A woman refuses to make a sandwich and walks away unharmed.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is ya dad ya dad? ........ because of ya cousin

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a female duck? A duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happened? I have absolutely no idea.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is laying in the corner of the living room of an abandoned house and keeps getting smaller over the years? A decaying baby left there by a crack-head.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's (333x4)-198+(456x100,432)-10+5? Bet ya said i don't know! I don't either.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q. What gets louder as it gets smaller? A. A baby in a paper shredder

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the gay man order at Starbucks? Delicious, handcrafted beverages and great-tasting food. The secret to making life better.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yo Momma is so ugly she probably doesn't have any friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a kid with no arms annd legs? Names

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Haha

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happens when you eat all the strawberries? They are GONE...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

little travis puts hedgehogs in his poop chute

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What the diffrence between a jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the sponge go to the store? The same reason all sponges go to stores: to be sold to patrons of said store.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Superman: Batman, can you drive? Batman: No, but I can drive the batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops