Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

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Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

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Why did the teenager write a joke on here? Because after hours of surfing this website and casually laughing at herself she realized she had no life and the only way to feel happy with her self would be submitting her own to here.

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Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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Fat people.

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A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

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What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

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What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

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whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police Ahh shit

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why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have short-term memory loss. And roses are red.

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The Paralympics! Even if you win, you're still retarded!

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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How the hell did Susie get on the swing anyway I don't know you tell me?

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops