Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

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what is black and looks like a mushroom? a black mushroom

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What happened september 11th, 2001 It was my first time snorkoling in Hawaii

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall underwater? dam

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What's red and creeps up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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This is not a good joke.

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What do your friends and a tree have in common? They both die if you set them on fire.

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How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? 17

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I'm gay.

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What do u call a gay guy with a long dik Dickgimme a lick

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What's the similarity between a dog and a car? They're both made out of atoms.

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Knock knock who's there? ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dislike me!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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k

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A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself, so he goes into the bathroom and hang himself from the pipes.

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Quit repeating the damn jokes you jackasses it ruins the laughter. Like if you agree.

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A man walks to a bar. He drinks too much and dies. His family is informed later that evening.

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Why did little Johnny eat his homework? Because his family is very poor and he rarely eats.

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You know what happens when you assume? You base a conclusion on insufficient information.

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If anybody wants a free RuneScape account, the username is Antbongton and the password is fluckaduck

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Why did the girl go over her texting limit? She had a hot boyfriend.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin... Nothing they are muffins.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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12 22 giraffe hippo 66 otter zebra cat 99 okay, the end

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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