What do you call Obama? - the president

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red violets are blue this poem make no sense microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call someone who is blind and deaf? Dumb.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Your mother

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats worse than being gay? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the baby cross the road...? cause he was chained to my bumper

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Jeff" "Jeff who?" "Jeff Johnson" "From the office?" "No I work at the dehli" "The one on 6th avenue?" "No, the one on Park." "What do you want?" "Could you open the door?" "No, I don't know you" "Isn't this Mr. Walter's house?" "No, my name is Roger Stevens" "I'm sorry I must be at the wrong house" "What address are you looking for?" "15322 N Gary street" "This is 15323 N Gary" "Oh I'm sorry" "Try knocking across the street" "Thank you"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

WHATS WORSE THAN THE HOLOCAUST A FLAT TIRE

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call five dogs with no balls? Five bitches.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? That she should train harder for her next boxing match, or find a less physically demanding hobby to partake in.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Women"s Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the Jew pick a dollar off the ground? He dropped it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a Chinese man in a cage full of Ostridges? A zoo worker.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the man so unhappy. he died

thumb_up thumb_down +15

"make me a sandwhich bitch" is what he said to his female boss and led to him getting fired and eventually losing his home. Two weeks later his family left him.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn't the Asian reach the sink? Because he was a 4 year old boy, and was only about 3 feet tall.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops