- I have cancer. - SUCK IT UP!!!

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-Hey, Larry! How much is one plus one? -Two

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

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Whats ironic about the Facebook "like" button? Nothing

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What is one of the symtoms of clinical depression? Sadness.

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Q:Whats funny? A:Genocide

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Chuck Norris

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Roses are red, violets are blue, cheeseburger.

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SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A: You can't wear cleats on a trampoline.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the immigrants.

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d

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms. They were lost in a tractor accident.

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a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and the cut his head off

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? Because they were part of his uniform.

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How do you stop a train? Throw a fridge at it.

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Your Mama is so stupid She shot herself by accident and died. Your family has not stopped mourning since

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What olympic event is Kosovo best known for getting gold? Kosovo is the world's newest country and therefore does not yet have complete international recognition.

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what is brown and rhymes with snoop? dr dre

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So a magician was driving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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A boss walks into a bar and hires the first man he sees. He fires everyone else, no matter what their occupation.

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What's more annoying than Minion quotes? That the girl in the basement keeps screaming for help.

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Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road. A: because he's a chicken?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops